excerpts from the diary of a sexual deviant

Bridget Boylan

 

 

i swallowed and it was supposed to stop
it was supposed to stop

it was supposed to stop but i started bleeding
i started bleeding and it hasn’t stopped

i started bleeding and i couldn’t watch
i couldn’t watch but i had to get up

i couldn’t watch so I fell asleep

 

 

 

 

when i woke up i was still bleeding
i was still bleeding when i woke up
i held myself as I heard you cleaning
you were vacuuming and rearranging the house

 

 

 

 

 

you were vacuuming and rearranging the house
i was holding myself and bleeding
i was pretending i was sleeping

 

*

 

i took the medication while it was snowing
it was coming down really hard
your car couldn’t make it down the road

 

i took the medication and it was snowing
it was snowing and we walked to the train
you told me to calm down

 

*

 

 

then i heard you : all was illuminated
you were accented and fugitive
you were sunset on the snow

 

 

 

 

shhh
I need your voice so bad

 

shhh
I am still finding bits of you
in the bottom of the bath

 

all of your love
is never enough
never enough
and not for me

 

 

 

Bridget Boylan is a poet/musician living and working in Philadelphia. Her work has been published in Metatron and Hyphen literary magazine. You can listen to her music on SoundCloud, and find her on Twitter.

 

Image by Jenny McDonald.

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